Until now. I decided to make a list that doesn’t adhere to a specific topic of interest; rather, one that just spouts off random garbage that I thought mattered in the previous year. That way, there will be very little worth arguing about. Which negates this list’s existence, doesn’t it? Maybe I should reconsider this whole thing.
Oh, and I do realize that it’s almost mid-January, but hey, at least it’s almost mid-January 2011. Consider me fashionably late. Here we go.
Haranguin’ Around in 2010
Badass Organization of 2010 – The Nobel Peace Prize Committee
By handing the Nobel Peace Prize to Liu Xiaobo, the Committee essentially walked into China’s kitchen, opened the fridge, chugged China’s milk (straight from the carton, of course), left the door open, walked over to China, and knocked over her whole bowl of Fruit Loops. As China sat there shocked and fuming, the NPPC grabbed its collective crotch and said, “Try killing him now, bitch.”
Also, the NPPC totally redeemed itself from the whole “Fuck it, give it to that Obama guy, he seems cool” fiasco.
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| This is Liu Xiaobo's "angry face." |
Movie That Left the Entire Theatre in Stunned Silence – Inception
Granted, a good third of the audience was thinking, “Can I call Ellen Page hot yet?”
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| I'm gonna go ahead and vote "yes." |
Album That Will Age Gracefully – Big Boi’s Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
Okay, maybe the title won’t age so well, but this album will sound fresh in 2020. Or it better, otherwise I am going to look like a jackass.
Album That Made Me Wish I Lived in the Southern States in the Sixties – One Night Stand / Sam Cooke Live at the Harlem Square Club
Sort of, anyway. But just for the live music. Maybe not for the, you know, “segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever!” politics.
I know it wasn’t released this year, but I bought it this year, so it might as well have not existed until 2010.
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| Idiot. |
Man, time travel would be sweet for my concert attendance record.
Most Ridiculous News Fiasco – The “Ground Zero Mosque”
Leave it up to the fanatics at Fox to transform a community centre with a prayer area two blocks away from the spot where the Twin Towers fell into a mosque at ground zero. The way it was being portrayed made it seem like it was a facility where Al-Qaeda militants practiced firing bazookas at puppies wrapped in American flags.
The proposed centre contained more than just a prayer area, but also fun stuff like basketball courts. This alone proves it isn’t a mosque. When was the last time you went to مسجد just to shoot hoops?
How is a country supposed to progress if every aspect of its society, right down to the fucking zoning regulations are rallied against by racists disguising themselves as conservative activists? I pity America.
Recipient of the “How Does He Keep His Job?” Award – Stephen Harper
Between proroguing parliament to watch the Winter Olympics, holding secret border negotiations, and spending $124 million to transform Toronto into a police state where the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms no longer applies, how is this sterile mannequin still our Prime Minister?
Blog I Most Admire – Gay Uganda
This guy is everything I wish I could be – brave, funny, and poignant. His blog is something that should be read by everyone, from the highest politicians to the youngest child.
Book That Rocked My Socks – Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Pip’s constant lusting for a hot, bitchy, raven-haired chick reminded me of Archie. Except Great Expectations is funny. It also inspired this song...
Leave it up to the fanatics at Fox to transform a community centre with a prayer area two blocks away from the spot where the Twin Towers fell into a mosque at ground zero. The way it was being portrayed made it seem like it was a facility where Al-Qaeda militants practiced firing bazookas at puppies wrapped in American flags.
The proposed centre contained more than just a prayer area, but also fun stuff like basketball courts. This alone proves it isn’t a mosque. When was the last time you went to مسجد just to shoot hoops?
How is a country supposed to progress if every aspect of its society, right down to the fucking zoning regulations are rallied against by racists disguising themselves as conservative activists? I pity America.
Recipient of the “How Does He Keep His Job?” Award – Stephen Harper
Between proroguing parliament to watch the Winter Olympics, holding secret border negotiations, and spending $124 million to transform Toronto into a police state where the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms no longer applies, how is this sterile mannequin still our Prime Minister?
Blog I Most Admire – Gay Uganda
This guy is everything I wish I could be – brave, funny, and poignant. His blog is something that should be read by everyone, from the highest politicians to the youngest child.
Book That Rocked My Socks – Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Pip’s constant lusting for a hot, bitchy, raven-haired chick reminded me of Archie. Except Great Expectations is funny. It also inspired this song...
Most Entertaining Magazine Interview – Esquire’s December 2010 Interview with Christian Bale
Describing Bale as wonky is like calling Sarah Palin an idiot – he is so far beyond that word that he almost defies description. This interview proves that in a fun, hilarious way. Kudos to John M. Richardson for keeping the interview on the rails when it got shaky while simultaneously maintaining journalistic integrity. Impressive.
Also, Terminator: Salvation sucked and Christian Bale sucked in it. Just thought I should close the list out on that note.
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